We held a lantern release Sunday, the evening before Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.
I had visions of the evening, of resting my head on my husband’s shoulder and crying as we watched our lantern float to the sky, finishing our week of birthdays and anniversaries with one last send off to our baby girl. I thought it would be sad and overwhelming and an emotional end to a long few weeks.
Instead it was so many things I’m not sure I can put it into words.
It was hovering under awnings and umbrellas with certainty the rain would stop.
It was smiling to the sky when it did just that.
It was collective sighs when lanterns hit the water instead of the sky and running to grab another to try again.
It was a group of people, many who barely knew each other, so determined to get those lanterns to the clouds that we huddled in circles, cupped hands around flames and held backs to the wind.
Instead of silence and tears as lanterns rose there were cheers and laughter and children running to the water’s edge with their eyes to the sky.
If there were every a pep rally for the grieving it was right there, on our little deck over the water.
Grief can leave you feeling alone in the most crowded of places but not on this night.
On this night I felt surrounded and understood and lifted up.
I watched those lanterns float to the sky and thought of all the babies who should be in their mothers arms.
Every time the tears threatened another lantern would rise. The glittered sky gave way to visions of our lost little ones, dancing on clouds glowing with love,
so much love.
Photos courtesy of my wonderful friend and partner on this project, Laura.
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Barbara says
Amazing. What a great tribute!
Andrea says
This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing such intimate moments with us. Sending you love.
Lanie says
What a beautiful tribute! I am going to check into lanterns for our walk (we have a balloon release). I always think about all those balloons end up trash somewhere. . . Sending you hugs and hope. xo
Kristin @ What She Said says
How pretty! But where do the lanterns go? Do they eventually come down or do they just keep going up into space?
On the surface grief seems so isolating, but I think it can actually be a powerful force for bringing people together. Hope and love are often borne out of grief. I’m so glad you had a chance to experience that.
Jessica says
They keep going up and they are biodegradable, I checked ;).
Lady Jennie says
I just read Angela’s post about this and it was my first time learning of the lantern lighting. I love it – loved your post and all the beauty it carried in face of the sadness.
Amy Mak says
Beautiful, Jessica.
Stefi says
Totally breathtaking images, those balloons look really beautiful! I wish I could have been there, it must have been such a wonderful experience!
thedoseofreality says
A simply gorgeous post. I am so sorry for your loss, but take comfort in you finding moments of solace like this one.
The Mommy Psychologist says
These pictures are absolutely breathtaking. They brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing with us.
Bianca says
Its a great experience to see this lantern dancing in the sky with a light its make me feel enjoy while watching on it …
Tonya says
I love this. I thought about you a lot yesterday.
My sister and I set off a lantern on Sunday night in memory of my parents and it was a lot like you described here. A release and a sadness all wrapped into one memorable night.
Sending you much love, Jessica.
Kate F. says
Beautiful recap of the evening, and wonderful photos Jessica.
Alexa (katbiggie) says
Jessica I LOVE this post!!!! It gave me chills, made me smile, and really made me wish I had been there to laugh and love and cheer with you all! Your writing touches me so close to my heart (which I am sure you realize since I feel somewhat like your stalker these days!!!) but I really just can’t thank you enough for putting into words what my mouth just can’t seem to say. Thank you! Alexa
Jessica says
I love that you come here to read and that you understand how I feel although I had that we have such a sad thing in common.
Corey Feldman says
Looks like it was a beautiful event
tara pohlkotte says
“If there were every a pep rally for the grieving it was right there, on our little deck over the water.”
give me a pom-pom to shake. what a beautiful. amazing event. gah. the images alone got me. so glad for that night of bright remembrance that lit up the sky.
Jessica says
It honestly was so uplifting and energizing, not sad in the way I thought it would be. I can’t wait to do it again next year.
Jen says
This is so beautiful!
Philipp Knoll says
Your blog gives me shivers every time I visit – in the best possible manner. As a father of 5 I can relate so much to your stories.
This ceremony couldn’t have been any more beautiful. What a great way to remember and share a sign of hope. I truly believe this kind of energy reaches the loved ones we lost to soon.
Thanks.
L.McG.-E. says
What a beautiful way to remember lost children and celebrate them with light.
Robbie says
Amazing and heartbreaking and uplifting and WOW.
Clomid and Cabernet says
Oh my…this could not be more beautiful. Thank you again. For thinking of me. For holding me in your heart. And just for being you. xoxo