I have a confession to make.
Lately my five year-old, always the considerate one, has been bringing me my phone if he sees it laying around the house, because he knows it is usually in my hand.
Too often I set my kids up with a fancy shmancy craft and the minute they are all fully engaged in art work I give myself permission to check Facebook or run to the computer just for a second.
If my lap is full of little people on the couch I am usually straining my neck to the side, catching up on Words with Friends or Instagram or email.
I always start off with the best of intentions but I don’t end that way. I end paying attention to everything at once which is ultimately nothing.
You won’t find a radical vow to give up social media or hide my phone from myself in this post. Writing is how I breathe and my stay-at-home-mom sanity depends on staying connected to my friends, even if it’s through a quick text or a status update.
But I’m going to quit being everywhere at once. I don’t want my kids to remember me with my phone in my hand all day long, I want to focus on just being wherever I am.
I’m going to finish our art project until someone wastes the last of the glue and I’m really going to build a Lego tower even if I can’t help but stack the colors in a pattern and I am going to really, really look at my kids when they talk to me.
I never make New Year’s resolutions so I will not call this a resolution, just a promise to work on changing this year. (Yes I am very aware this IS the definition of a resolution.)
There are all these things I really want to do but there are also all these little people who I really want to remember and who I want to remember me. Not as the mom at the computer or the phone but as the mom sitting on the floor or at the kitchen table. I have countless years to come with hours that belong to me but I have a feeling my days of glue on the table and Legos on the floor won’t be nearly as many.
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Thanks for your effort ,Catherine
This really is the fourth article, of yours I really read through.
Although I personally like this specific 1, “Staying in the
moment” the best. Take care -Shelli
Jenni & Andy says
I like this. A lot.
Ditto. I will not make the resolution with you. I am going to get off the computer now and go give little people some hugs. Take care. xo
Such a hard thing to do, huh?
If I am only doing one thing I feel like I am not doing enough, like somehow I am wasting time. Isn’t that awful, but I think that is what we have set ourselves up for as moms.
I am trying to cut back too. Maybe only doing a couple of things at once instead of a few. Like instead of making dinner, responding to work emails, and checking homework I am trying to just make dinner and check homework. Like you said it is a work in progress!
Yep. I’m right there with you, and I need to do the exact same thing.
My Inner Chick says
–Writing is how I breathe—
I soooooo agree. Xx
Jessica, I am so guilty of this too. I was doing wonderfully with this during our winter break. Now that I am back at work, I am falling back into that old habit. I was inspired by a bloggy friend when I asked her how she managed her time online. She puts that away to focus on the family when it’s meal time. I have been guilty of having it with me at dinner. Sigh. I am really focusing on doing better.
sarah @sundayspill says
same goes for me. Less phone. don’t get me wrong, it will still always be within sight or reach–haha. My husband suggested that we both put our phones to the side entirely from dinner on until the kids go to bed. It’s worth a shot. Reconnect at the end of the day with real life. I can totally relate to this post. Best of luck on meeting your goal!
I hear you on this, Jessica. And at my house my kids fight over hub’s computer if I’m on mine. We are a family addicted to technology and sometimes you just have to power off and sit at a table and be together.
Not a Perfect Mom says
Brooke is a phone giver…it always makes my heart sink a little bit…and like you I keep trying to just let it be, a work in progress for sure…
Good luck, we can totally hold each other accountable
Danyelle Franciosa says
Staying at home Mom are very tiring yet enjoy right? You have made the right choice to stay with your kids and that is probably the best things you can do.
Kathy at kissing the frog says
I need to do this, too. My one year old will now bring me my phone when it makes the sound indicating that I have mail. It’s too much. They will grow up thinking its okay to be attached to technology, too. It’s not for any of us.
Corey Feldman says
I think we all do this to some point or another key is what you said earlier fostering am ability to play independently and knowing you are there for them.
Nicole (Whole Strides) says
This is so hard! But good for you for making a public declaration of intent! Public declarations keep everyone honest 🙂
Hopefully it works for me!
Elaine A. says
Gah, if I could just tattoo this to my hand! I mean, I guess I could but, geez, I SO need to remember this too!! I have been better about it lately… Excellent resolution, er, I mean, change (;-P) to make!!
I need it tattooed too, I’ve had to remind myself of my own blog post more than once today.
Ginger Kay says
Good for you for listening to your heart! While I do not believe that children need our undivided attention 24/7, I do think that they should feel that when they have, they have it.
Totally agree, I want my kids to be able to entertain themselves and play independently but I also want them to know they have my attention when they need it.
I do this too. It seems like with the busy, busy, busy if my mind is not constantly engaged in at least three things at once it disconnects. The trouble is I’m not giving any of those three things the attention they need. Maybe I should make that vow as well.
That’s exactly my problem, I feel like by the end of the day everything I did was just one big whirlwind.
Kerry Ann @Vinobaby's Voice says
Ah, yes. I’ve vowed to live in the moment more also. We’ll remember the moments, not the FB posts. Best of luck to you!
This is something I am also trying to accomplish….I want to be more present for my kids…and for me, the big wske-up call was when I lost my temper because one of the boys interrupted my Pinterest browsing session. Good luck!
Look at all of them doing the SAME THING! I need to put the phone down more, too.
Robin Jingjit says
It’s so hard not to always divide attention. I catch myself doing this, too. My boys will even say, “Watch this, no put the phone down.” uggg, guilt! That usually snaps me out of it and I’ll put it down and join their game.
I struggle, too, though because I know that our parents’ generation weren’t concerned about “being present” with us. Maybe since they didn’t have cell phones and facebook and all those things, it wasn’t a concern. But there were soaps and phone calls to sisters and mandatory outside playtime for kids. Maybe they just knew that even good parents don’t have to be connected with their children every second and they didn’t doubt themselves at every turn the way we do… Just thinking out loud here.
I’m the same way. Since mine are in school, so I can try to do all my computer-ing when they’re out, and not be on it at all when they’re home, but of course some days that’s easier than others!
Mrs. Weber says
Aw, this hits home for me too! It’s such a fine line when you work from home…I want to make some money, but I CHOSE to stay home to be with my kids so I could actually be with them. I try to accomplish as much as I can before they wake (right now I am clearly procrastinating!) and then when they go to bed. Some days it works, others I’m distracted. My 2-year-old has been slamming my laptop shut lately…Never a good sign! Glad I know some socmed savvy moms who get it too 😉