When Hadley passed away, another grieving mom suggested I get a piece of jewelry to hold a bit of her ashes.
I sat at the funeral home, looking through catalogs of jewelry I never knew existed for such a purpose, and settled on a teardrop-shaped necklace.
I wore Hadley’s necklace every day for years, feeling the weight of it at my chest as I put it on every morning.
I held onto it at holidays and birthdays and moments that were perfect, almost.
There are days I don’t wear it now, someone pulls me away before I can put it on or the morning rush doesn’t include time to fasten a necklace.
And there are days I run back inside to grab it or carry it in a pocket, always meaning to put it on.
She will always be here. Never in the way I want her to be, but here in her sister’s smile, her brother’s giggle and the first star that catches my eye.
The weight of her memory will always sit delicately on my chest,
forever fastened to my heart the moment she left my arms.
I wish so much peace and love and hope to all of the moms out there who have lost a child. It has been five years since we said goodbye and I promise the days get easier. The pain won’t always be so sharp, the memories will soften and you will smile again.
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