It turns out, when your oldest is four days away from turning 18, you spend endless hours replaying your pregnancy as if it was yesterday because somehow it was, even when it wasn’t.
Last week I was featured in an article aimed at debunking the stereotypes of teen parents portrayed in the media. I was honored to be in the article but not quite prepared for the full-circle-ness that would follow. In the past week, as I count down the days until my daughter who grew up with me, grows up herself, I have been contacted by countless young moms. They are all in different stages of parenthood but every single one, whether single or married or 17 or 23, wants to know how to be good enough.
When I was pregnant and unsure and covering my stomach with men’s sized t-shirts in hopes of avoiding second glances, a group of our old neighbors, women whose children I had grown up with, offered to give me a baby shower. I was embarrassed by the idea just as I was of my circumstances but accepted their invitation and decided to even wear maternity clothes for the occasion.
I remember this…
I remember resting a white napkin above the belly of my mint green maternity outfit.
I remember sitting at the head of the table and wondering how to address them, if not as my friends’ moms.
I remember genuine questions about my pregnancy and laughter as they reminisced about their own.
I remember advice on my hospital stay and perfectly wrapped gifts.
I remember shifting in my chair and resting one hand on my stomach and being okay with my waddle as I walked to the buffet table.
I remember one afternoon where I sat with a whole group of women who believed in me.
And I remember kind faces who saw past my appearance to support me in my circumstance.
I wrote them thank you notes, for the crib sheets and the baby swing and the thoughtful luncheon but I wasn’t quite old enough to put words to the hope they didn’t know they had given.
I’m nearing the age many of these women were when they sat at our table and I know they had to push aside memories of the years prior when I rode my bike to their house or set up a lemonade stand across the street and swallow thoughts of how my future would change in order to give me a day I so desperately needed.
I will always look twice before judging another mother.
The second glance is where her true story begins.
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Love this post, Jessica. Truly beautiful!
The kindness and support you felt really moved me. I am so thankful they did that for you…and that you let them!
It was amazing, and still is when I think about it and know all they had to do to make me feel comfortable. So glad they were there when I needed people most.
Beautiful post! Happy belated birthday to Ashlyn and you! Her birthday is either the same day or right before our twins :-). Sending you hope and hugs. xo
Her birthday is the 27th, happy birthday to your kids!
Love this. i work with teen moms and so many of them just need someone to believe in them. happy birthday to your daughter!
I couldn’t agree more, I just needed someone to take me seriously and tell me I could do it.
This is so beautiful, Jessica. Kindness is so underestimated and so undervalued in our society, yet is the single most important thing I value in others. Thank you for sharing this story with us!
It’s amazing what a little kindness can do. I have a feeling these women never realized what a huge moment that was for me.
Truly lovely. It’s amazing what the kindness if one or two people can do to help us along the way!!
Absolutely, you can never underestimate what a little bit of kindness can do.
You always make me cry – – – but I love it.
Just, just God bless you Jessica and those women who invited you into motherhood.
Chaunie (Tiny Blue Lines) shared this on Facebook and it is absolutely beautiful. Truly.
SO beautiful. I love this so much!!
Perfection
Such an important message for all mothers. I love how you reach out with your words. Thank you.
Why must you always make me cry before I have even had my morning tea? Gorgeous, as usual.
Oh no, no crying! Hopefully it was through a smile??
Time flies, huh?
I loved reading the part where you accepted the baby shower and how things turned better, by women engaging with your pregnancy. That is good.
Lovely photo of you both.
Happy 18th birthday of your not-so little one !
Thanks so much, I can’t believe she’s almost 18!
A gorgeous post, Jessica. And the last sentence is just the best.
Thanks so much Keesha.
Another beautifully written post.
Happy birthday to you and your baby — for no matter how grown they are, that’s what they remain in our hearts.
I’ve been telling her she needs to shrink but she won’t listen :).
Sniff is so right. xo
Sniff.