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By Jessica Watson

Life after loss with autism, preemies and a rainbow baby

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The day my husband left me at the NICU

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After the triplets were born, I spent every single day in the NICU. On the weekends Mark would join me and we would stare into their little isolettes, willing them to eat and grow and not make a single monitor ding with that awful sound that is forever embedded in my brain.

One Saturday in October, when they were just a few weeks old Mark dropped me off and left me there the WHOLE day. I did the usual, sitting on the edge of my hospital chair, getting up to pump, then coming back to sit at the edge of my chair. Rinse. Wash. Repeat.

As the day went on I added check phone and get increasingly annoyed at husband to my schedule, as he did not answer my calls nor show up at the NICU.

Just as my annoyance shifted to he-must-have-gotten-hit-by-a-semi panic, he walked into the NICU, minutes before visiting hours were over.

We went to dinner where he avoided every question I asked about his day and acted strange enough for me to wonder if I might be the sane one in our relationship.

Once we got home I noticed a few gifts on the table for the kids from friends of ours I had yet to see since the babies were born and Mark just brushed it off, saying they had left them on the porch earlier in the day.

He encouraged me to go lay down after my long day of sitting still and I headed upstairs to our room, convinced I was in the Twilight Zone.

I opened the door to our room and heard our wedding song playing and then my mind couldn’t really catch up to what my eyes were seeing.

After we found out we were having triplets, we swapped our master bedroom with the smaller room next to it so that we could fit all three cribs. Mark worked on the babies room the whole time I was in the hospital and our new “room” turned into the storage space for anything and everything that didn’t have a place in our house. Our bed was on the floor, the ironing board sat next to our computer and our clothes never left the laundry baskets if they were lucky enough to be placed in one.

There was no time for rearranging or decorating or separating darks and lights when our babies were barely hanging on in the NICU.

Mark left me at the hospital that day because he had gathered our friends and family to make over our bedroom.

They spent the entire day painting and shopping and redecorating. He held my hand as I took in our new room, so I wouldn’t touch the walls. They were still wet.

We had lost Hadley just weeks before and it took so much work to smile in those days but that day I did.

Our anniversary was two days ago and I’ve been thinking about this story all week. Through the darkest days of my life, my husband has always found a way to make me smile. No matter how much work it takes.

Happy two days after our anniversary to my amazing husband.

Here’s a peek at the before and after if you want to see it, there’s no sound which is driving me a bit crazy but this was before my phone even took pictures (gasp).

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  2. Hillary says

    What a man! And what an amazingly beautiful, difficult and generous thing to pull off without your knowledge, but with all the love and hard work of your friends and family, at that time.

    I know exactly what you mean by annoyance morphing into hit-by-semi panic. Unfortunately, I am very prone to that uncomfortable and rapid leap in emotion.

    Reply

  4. Michael Lombardi says

    Damn, what a story. I don’t know that I would have had the forethought to do something special. I’m glad you have a husband that treats you so good. I wish all women did.

    Reply

  6. anymommy says

    Oh my gosh, what a sweet, incredible story. I always feel good for days after I read about true love. Happy Anniversary.

    Reply

  8. julie gardner says

    Oh my goodness!
    The heart has such a capacity to find love and joy during seemingly impossible circumstances.

    What a love and life you’ve shared. So far.

    Happy Anniversary (a little late, but wow. So much love.)

    Reply

  17. Eli@coachdaddy says

    This guy makes the rest of us look bad! Seriously, well done, mate. We should also remember that it takes a wonderful woman to bring this out in a man.

    New to your blog. What a first impression.

    Reply

    • Jessica says

      I actually thought about that, that maybe a few husbands out there might rather their wives not read this story :). We are definitely lucky to have each other, thanks for reading!

      Reply

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