I am often asked for ideas on what to give someone who has experienced pregnancy loss or the loss of an infant or child. Although I wish this question never had to come up I’m so glad there are thoughtful people out there who want to do something to ease the pain of others.
I thought I would put together a list of my favorite products and ideas I have come across over the years that may bring comfort to someone who is grieving.
1. Molly Bear– Molly Bears is a non-profit founded by a fellow loss mom who creates bears the exact weight of your infant at the time they passed. Words can’t express the feelings that rushed over me the first time I lifted my bear out of its box and there are a few other people who love it too…
2. Personalized print or card– Many of you asked for some of my grief writing in print form so I’ve created several products in my new Etsy shop, DottieJane Treasures. The store is growing so check back often and please share!
3. Footprint jewelry– Grace Personalized makes a gorgeous ring with the actual footprint of your child. This shop also does quite a bit of customized jewelry so if you do not have a print you could have the child’s name put on a necklace or bracelet.
4. Angel wing necklace– A friend recently pinned this necklace from the Vintage Pearl for me on Pinterest and then my mom bought it for me last year. I absolutely love it. It would also be a great gift for someone who suffered a loss during pregnancy and may not have prints or a name to create something personalized.
5. Art work– The talented artist behind Heart Box Studio creates beautiful artwork that does not focus solely on grief but highlights it often.
6. Memory Box– There are personalized memory boxes you can find almost anywhere. After you lose a baby there can be so few precious things to keep, giving someone a beautiful place to keep them is such a thoughtful gift. Here’s one of my favorites, the shop also does a version of this in blue.
7. Entwined ring– Unfortunately, multiple pregnancies are at a higher risk of loss. If you know someone who has lost one or more in a set of twins or triplets these rings from Nelle and Lizzy are perfect. I have one entwining the names of my triplets and I couldn’t love it more.
8. Name In the Sand– I cannot say enough about this gift. Carly Marie, the founder of this site will write the name of a lost child in the sand on the shores of a gorgeous beach in Australia and photograph it for you. This was one of the first things I had done to remember Hadley and I will always treasure it.
9. Wooden name block– My sister-in-law bought me this for Hadley’s birthday a few years ago and I absolutely love it. You can find them to give on Etsy. I was unable to find the original shop who made this sign but there are now others who make something similar.
10. Memorial tree– I had no idea there were organizations that would actually go out and plant trees as memorial gifts. I found this company that will plant a tree or a grove and provide you with documentation of your gift to give to the family. I love the thought of a gift in my daughter’s memory living on for years to come.
11. Support at home– Many families who have suffered a loss have spent many days and nights in a hospital. One of the most wonderful gifts we were given was a fridge full of fresh produce. When I finally returned from the hospital my mom and aunt had shopped for us and filled our fridge with fresh fruits and veggies. I think that first plate of fresh food was the best meal I’ve ever had. I was in no shape to go to the store and such a thoughtful thing for them to give was truly appreciated.
Ultimately, any small gesture will mean so much to a family that is struggling through grief. The most important thing you can do is acknowledge their loss and let them know you are there for support when they need you.
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