Four Plus an Angel by Jessica Watson

Life after loss with autism, preemies and a rainbow baby

  • About Me
  • Hire me
  • Our Autism
  • Hadley’s Story
You are here: Home / Musings of Motherhood / Love you is two words

Love you is two words

By Jessica

Sawyer has this sing-song-y way he says “love you” that is so sweet I can hear it in my mind as I type. He strings out the “you” at the end while he looks at you like you are the greatest being on his planet. Sometimes he says it over and over before bed because he’s so sleepy he has forgotten he already told me and he just wants to make sure.

Last night I said “love you” back and tried to mimic his sing-song-i-ness and he rolled over to tell me, “Love you is only two words, Mommy. It’s so fast Mommy that when you say it, it’s almost over.” And then he fell asleep because that was all he needed.

I laid there, trying to stay awake in that way I always fail at doing only to wake up five hours later with a foot across my forehead, and thought about how simple loving my kids is compared to how hard I make it sometimes.

I get caught up in all of what mothering should be and forget about how easy simply loving is.

I read about helicopter parents and attached parents and the free range ones and overanalyzing which one I’m being or failing at being instead of just being, wherever we are right at that moment.

I surf Pinterest and create projects that cave in when I could just sit down and open a coloring book with the kids, crayons rolling across the table.

I make food with hidden healthy ingredients and let out big sighs as the theatrical gags begin instead of just making peanut butter sandwiches and helping them peel their own apple.

I come up with birthday themes and swear at the printer while it jams or runs out of ink or both when everyone would be perfectly happy with a day in the sun and seconds on ice cream.

I search for age appropriate everything and books to challenge reading levels because sometimes I forget to sit still for a minute, look them in the eye and ask them what they like most.

As adults, we rush all the things our kids take slowly, their every footstep making our watch tick slower. But where do we really need to go? What’s more important than one second of looking that kiddo in the sweet dimples and connecting for a second? Reminding ourselves how neat they really are and how stinking cute they were that one day on the way to the car even though they were taking inch-long steps that weren’t always going forward.

There are so many little ways we can hand our kids love and they have nothing to do with the big things that cause our money and patience to bleed. I’ve tried to slow down lately and the funniest thing has happened. We haven’t been late for anything. And I think it’s because I’m really looking instead of glazing over it all. I scan the house for my purse and my keys and actually remember I’m hanging onto them and then pick up my youngest and really talk to him instead of talking at him about his coat and omg the other shoe that’s gone again.

I’ve dug deep for extra patience and kind words and I’ve heard them bounce from one sibling to the next and back to me again and it’s so much more satisfying than a zucchini for dinner or a craft that doesn’t implode.

Because sweet bedtime talks only last for a few years and “love you” is only two words…

As soon as we say it it’s almost over.

learning to practice conscious parenting

If you liked this post stop by my facebook page for more.
If you liked this post stop by my facebook page for more.

Comments

comments

Powered by Facebook Comments

Filed Under: Musings of Motherhood


Comments

  1. Aimee says

    April 14, 2015 at 10:27 pm

    Thank you for this beautifully-said reminder!

  2. Ashley says

    April 13, 2015 at 10:33 pm

    I just have to say: I.Love.This. a lot. Thank you for sharing this truth and encouragement.

    • Jessica says

      April 15, 2015 at 7:20 pm

      Thank you so much for reading!

Follow me

  • Bloglovin
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Buy my book!

About me

Jessica Watson

I'm Jessica, 40-something mom to five, four in my arms and one in my heart.

On any given day you will find me taxi-ing teenagers, mopping up our latest "art project" and trying to remember when I turned the crock pot on… all the while, looking for the closest Starbucks drive thru.

Get Four Plus an Angel by email

* indicates required

Click for more about…

autism tab

grief tab

teen parenthood

Favorite Posts

  • A musical life
  • Always be you
  • It's not permanent
  • My One
  • The Stone

@fourplusanangel on Instagram

Is your house getting quiet as your kids get older Is your house getting quiet as your kids get older? Get a teen who rescues animals. Our house guests just keep getting more interesting. 
.
.
.
.
#devotedbarn #rescuepig #olivetherescuepig #animalrescue #friendsnotfood #pigsofinstagram #neveradullmoment
Finally don’t have to worry about looking at the Finally don’t have to worry about looking at the right spot in a selfie.
.
.
.
.
.
#skiiing #maskup #puremichigan #getoutside #isuckatselfies #familyskiing #motherhoodunplugged #pineknob #parentingteens
Love the first good snow, and not just because it Love the first good snow, and not just because it seems to insulate the noise level of my boys when we bring them to the barn.
.
.
.
.
.
#horsesofinstagram #willowtreestables #firstsnow #puremichigan #boymom #motherhoodunplugged #barnlife
We decorated really early this year but I’m alre We decorated really early this year but I’m already finding myself disappointed that soon the decorations will come down. I love the softness of a home decorated for the holidays and coffee in front of a tree every morning.

I wish this year could be more “normal” but I’m not mad about the extra time I’ve had with kids who are at an age where they’d be more than happy to leave us for long stretches of time.

I’d love to shrink them into elf costumes and Christmas countdowns and easy surprises.

#parkerpretends #parkerpretendsforchristmas  #costumer #holidays #christmas #parentingteens #motherhoodunplugged #tbt
She would live in a barn. For real. . . . . . #mc She would live in a barn. 
For real.
.
.
.
.
.
#mckennakaren #farmgirl #barnchores #momlife #horsegirl #motherhoodunplugged
We changed up our nails in support of @trevormicha We changed up our nails in support of @trevormichae1 today. 
As a mom I want to thank you Trevor for leading the way for us. We need to see you ahead of us and happy.

Hoping our manicuring sessions last long past when we can head back out into the world post pandemic.

Love my brave boy and am pretty impressed by his polishing skills. One more thing he can do for me when I’m old and even less coordinated than I am now.
.
.
#teamtrevor #genderstereotypes #colorstreet #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodrising
Follow on Instagram

My recent pins

Follow Me on Pinterest

Posts by month

The BEST options for your blog!

Copyright © 2021 · WordPress · Log in