October 15th is International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It marks the end of a marathon of anniversary dates for us. We lost Hadley on October 11 so having this day so soon after fits with the mood of the month. Every year I’m still fighting off my grief hangover from our anniversary dates and this remembrance day finishes off our emotional week.
The good (if you can call it that) thing about being 14 years into this journey is that I’ve got this remembrance day down. I know what I want to do, how I want to pay tribute to the many other loss families I’ve connected with and where to go for the resources I need.
Since a recent reader of my work called me a “grief expert” I figured I might as well use this undesirable title to offer you a few of my favorite resources. You too can become a grief expert once you’re way too used to the term “loss mom” and know right where to send families dealing with fresh grieving wounds.
Here are some things you can do for International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day:
Grab one of these social media graphics created by Luminous Light Studio for your profile on Facebook, Instagram, etc.
Light a candle at 7 pm. Participate in the International Wave of Light by lighting a candle wherever you are in the world at 7 pm. This will keep candles burning hour after hour, throughout the world, in honor of our babies.
Organize a lantern release. We chose a beautiful place over the water a few years ago and met there with other loss families. We also invited close family and friends and it was so nice to not only see who showed up but to offer them a concrete way to support us.
We bought this pack of lanterns several years ago because they are biodegradable and we’re still working our way through the pack. Highly recommend them for being earth-friendly and durable.
Check the hashtag #pregnancyandinfantlossremembranceday on Instagram. There are many sweet mommas who have put together events to honor lost babies and they will honor yours too if you submit their name.
Participate in fundraising campaigns for organizations like Return to Zero’s HOPEtober where you can raise funds in honor of your lost baby.
Write your baby’s name on something, anything. Make a piece of art, have something engraved, plan out your first (or tenth) tattoo, do something that honors the fact that your baby was once here. Whatever feels right to you is the right thing to do.
Buy something. I’m sure retail therapy is not always approved but is there something you’ve always wanted to have that signifies your child? Memorial jewelry or a piece of artwork you love? Today is a good excuse to buy something just for you.
What would you add? What am I missing? Would love to continue to grow my list of resources for you.
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