Life after loss with autism, preemies and a rainbow baby
There is a space in our family that cannot be filled. At one time it was tiny, 18 inches long, yet to reach three pounds, long and lean but tucked into a bundle dripping with my tears. That space inserted itself into every day. She was milestones unmet, crib sheets unused, car seats returned. The […]
She wore the type of smile put on with morning lipstick. Something in a perky shade of red, rubbed off of glossy teeth and reapplied after coffee and lunch. Her questions began and I knew we were headed for trouble because my safely vague answers weren’t enough. If my conversations with strangers had a soundtrack, somewhere during the […]
In the beginning it was the minutes, the hours, the months. I tried to remember every detail, the weight of her in my arms, the almost-blue of her eyes, the shape of her eyelids as they closed. I felt panic rise as the days passed and memories blurred, I couldn’t forget a thing. She was […]
A few years ago I blogged about one the first heart-wrenching conversation I had with my children after they asked a question about their sister. I received a nasty comment from a reader telling me that if I had not been “selfish” and told them about their sister I would not have to talk to them […]
A post I wrote several years ago about what a grieving parent needs has been recirculating lately, putting me in touch with so many newly grieving moms. When I read their stories and the pain running in between and on top of their words I’m reminded of how far I’ve come and how close I am to […]
When we found out we were expecting triplets I avoided the horror stories. I clicked away from tales of early labor, grim statistics and the unthinkable… losing a baby. I couldn’t bear to think anything could happen to my unborn children. Truthfully, I wondered how women who suffered the loss of a child continued on. […]
I am often asked for ideas on what to give someone who has experienced pregnancy loss or the loss of an infant or child. Although I wish this question never had to come up I’m so glad there are thoughtful people out there who want to do something to ease the pain of others. I […]
I have a list of categories for my blog, everything I write is divided into a few main subjects. Autism, Motherhood, DIY/Pinterest-y stuff and Grief. Before I publish a post I check a box next to one of the topics, classifying under what category my writing falls. A few years ago, I checked the box next to […]
Towards the end of preschool Parker made a rainbow painting at school with streamers hanging down from the end of each color. My love for rainbows hung it no where but the best place. It sways from a hook up high in our kitchen so we can walk under it often because hanging out under […]
Last week I bought tickets for Mark and McKenna to go to a daddy/daughter dance. She is six now. This, the first year she is old enough to go. The nice woman at the counter asked how many tickets I needed and I had prepared myself for hating this part. Two tickets were all I […]
