Life after loss with autism, preemies and a rainbow baby
When Ashlyn was young and I was too I had plans to “fix” things. I had never known anything other than a family with two parents and two brothers, each of us spaced neatly three years apart. At night, after putting her to bed and finishing my homework, I would calculate the time I needed […]
When Ashlyn was well beyond the age most kids learned, I decided it was time for her to ride a bike. I was a single mom then so my brother and dad offered to help. They removed the training wheels from the bike she had barely ever used and got on either side. As they […]
We spent Ashlyn’s 18th birthday in San Francisco. My brother lives there and my other brother and sister-in-law flew in to surprise her. She was a little overwhelmed by the crowds and the noise and I was a little overwhelmed by how in the world you find your way around such a big city. If […]
It turns out, when your oldest is four days away from turning 18, you spend endless hours replaying your pregnancy as if it was yesterday because somehow it was, even when it wasn’t. Last week I was featured in an article aimed at debunking the stereotypes of teen parents portrayed in the media. I was […]
When Ashlyn was four or so and going through all kinds of medical tests, as kids with autism do, I remember one particularly awful appointment. She needed to be sedated and her IV wouldn’t go in and then she fought the anesthesia and I stood there trying to hold her and not cry or scream […]
I’ve been missing my brothers lately and I finally figured out why (not that I don’t always miss them since they moved out of state, but lately I’ve been wishing they lived next door on a daily basis). Before I explain, I need to back up and share how Ashlyn went from the middle of […]
Blog confession #3,456,783: I actually like getting older. Like, have been waiting for it, will never complain about a birthday, like it. I became a mom very young and I spent years envying moms who were older, moms who were “supposed to be” moms. I envied how they knew exactly what they needed at the […]
Ashlyn volunteers at the hospital where my mom works. She is a regular there, her friends generally other volunteers, 60 years or so her senior. If you were to walk into the lunchroom when she is sitting with her fellow volunteers, she would glare at you as most teenagers do when you shout “I love […]
In an attempt to get rid of a migraine Sunday I laid on the couch with a hot pack, watching the Teen Mom 2 marathon. I’ve never seen the show before but I’m pretty sure it’s not a recommended migraine cure. Until I finally watched an episode or ten, I don’t think I realized why […]
I never talk about this. I let people wonder. I let them look at me and look at her, then look again when she calls me “Mom.” I have heard it all. Are you the mother? You must be sisters. And my favorite? You don’t look old enough to be her mother. I should be […]
