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Four Plus an Angel by Jessica Watson

Life after loss with autism, preemies and a rainbow baby

Full circle baby, full circle

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When you were young you were colicky, both of you were. I mean I think that's what it was. At 6 pm every evening one of you would start crying and cry and cry for hours. Your dad would walk in the door from work, swing his tie over the shoulder of his suit jacket and take over so my biceps could rest or I could cook dinner or help your sister with homework. Whatever fire needed put out we just kept squirting water out in front of us, blindly hoping to make a dent in it that day before it kindled again the next. We had all kinds of tricks in our evening repertoire. Bounce him up higher, closer to your face while you hum.I think she stopped when the blow dryer was on. No, it has to be Continue Reading

8 Books you need to read

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8 books you must read

This post, along with many of the posts on FPAA, contains affiliate links. I make a small percentage off of these links when you click on them. Thank you, as always, for your support. With the help of audiobooks I've been reading a crazy-ton of books. I'm always reading something or listening to something and I have so many recommendations of books you need to read. I'm going to try to slow down and give you descriptions of them. Generally I'd just like to give you a big long list and tell you need to read them because. In other news.. I could never be one of those book reviewers. I like to give it five stars if it deserves five stars, tell everyone to read it because I thought it was Continue Reading

What is the longest lasting nail color?

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Color Street nails

I've discovered it makes me extra happy to have pretty nails.  Now that my kids are getting older I have plenty of time to overanalyze my aging hands and how good or bad my nails are looking. If they're not polished they start chipping or I start biting them so I'm forever in search of the longest lasting nail color. There are a million new products out there. Pinterest is full of tutorials for how to polish your nails so they last longer than gels or acrylics (they don't work for me!). I'm forever that person believing claims about polish lasting for 15 days or setting like gels at a salon. I've been lured in by commercials, counter displays and Facebook ads and I've tried them Continue Reading

From loss comes fear

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I would like to say that losing a child turned me into an indestructible momma who will fear nothing because she's already been through the worst. But I can't. Losing my daughter turned me into a feather. What was once a smallish issue with anxiety snowballed into a big lump of fear that I carry with me through life. Hadley died suddenly. One minute my husband and I were turning from isolette to isolette to isolette, marveling at our teeny triplets and the next we were looking at the sad eyes of a respiratory therapist explain what a pulmonary hemorrhage can do to such a tiny body. I've never been able to shake that suddenness. The fact that one moment I was worrying about my c-section Continue Reading

What no one tells you about autism and adulthood

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ABLEnow® has sponsored this post. All thoughts and opinions are my own. We are six years (SIX YEARS!) into autism and adulthood and I can't believe I'm still shocked at how unprepared the world is for kids like mine. The moment our world changed from acronyms like IEP and LRE to SSI and CLS I completely lost my footing.* Did you know? Did you know that if you are in an area that doesn't have reliable public transportation an adult with special needs usually has no inherent rights to be transported anywhere? Did you know that the moment someone receiving Social Security Income (SSI) puts any money in their bank account they can be financially penalized for that money? Did you Continue Reading

What books to read next

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Top book picks this year

This post and others like it may contain affiliate links. Thank you for your support. I've been reading like crazy this year. Usually I'm freaking out in December about meeting my Goodreads goal but this year I was in the home stretch by July. To justify my crazy habit I figured I better give you some recommendations on what books to read next before I read anymore. I'd love to hear what you've read and loved this year too. I have a long list of what I want to read but don't mind making it longer! This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel If you're only picking one book from my list choose this one. It's one of those books I recommend to people and then obnoxiously check in Continue Reading

The most difficult parts of autism

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This is a post is part of a paid partnership with Aeroflow Urology as part of the Chronic Illness Bloggers Network. All thoughts and opinions are my own. Years ago I would have written this solely from a mom's perspective. I would have listed the difficult parts of autism for me. But my daughter is 23 now. We have both had our struggles but now I see her out in the world, more independent than ever. I can clearly see the difficulties that are hers much more so than they are mine. Transportation Lack of transportation is first on my list of things that make our life tough. Ashlyn is an adult, she should be able to go where she likes when she likes. Can you imagine your every need Continue Reading

If you want a rainbow sometimes you need to buy one

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This post contains affiliate links.  I've been doing almost all of my shopping on Amazon lately. I feel like I've got the hang of what brands are decent, where to find good prices and how to make sure my packages won't first be touring the world for 80 days. The part of my mind that plans to blog weekly keeps creating blog posts about my favorite Amazon finds but I never actually put them together. But then my friend Anna shared this sweet umbrella in one of her awesome Amazon roundups and sent me down a rabbit hole, or over a rainbow, shopping for the cutest rainbow products. There are so many! I want everything I found but since I can't have them all maybe you can just Continue Reading

The sky can be anywhere

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His last show ended a few hours ago and Parker is already hanging clouds in our basement. While most of the cast waited for pizza and stalked the dessert table, Parker circled the stage as set pieces were taken down. A few minutes later he came out for food, a gigantic cloud tucked under one arm. This is the first show one of my kids has been in where I haven't helped at most of the rehearsals. I guess that's what happens when they get older and decide on different activities and cloning yourself isn't casually done for evening activities. I was excited to see a show that was a complete surprise. Opening night would be my first time hearing all the songs and seeing the show come Continue Reading

My favorite books of the year

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This post should be called "My favorite books since the last time I had time to write about books" but that doesn't have the same ring to it. I've met my Goodreads goal for the year so it's time to slow down and choose the ones I love. I haven't done a "favorite books" post since early 2017 so I've got a lot of ground to cover. All kinds of amazing characters are swirling through my head after scrolling through the books I've read. I know I'm biased because I am a writer, but isn't it crazy that someone can sit down and create characters so vivid we miss them a year after we've shelved them? If you've stuck with my nerdy book talk for the last two paragraphs I promise it's time to get to Continue Reading