Four Plus an Angel by Jessica Watson

Life after loss with autism, preemies and a rainbow baby

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How an autism diagnosis changed our lives

By Jessica

World Autism Day

Ashlyn was two when I received the results of her first developmental screening. Her fine motor skills where that of a 6 month old. Her gross motor skills registered at barely 9 months of age and her verbal skills tested at under one year. I knew shortly after her birth that something wasn't right but I didn't realize how wrong it was until the results were staring at me on paper. I was a young, single mother and I immediately began doing the math and calculating her future success. At age six would she be stacking blocks instead of learning to tie her shoes? At eight would her speech struggle to be that of a four year old? Would she ever be able to write her name or ride a bike or tell me Continue Reading

What two grandmothers taught me about friendship

By Jessica

story about friendship

Her car rolled past my house pushing three miles per hour, partly because she's nearly 90 and partly because she was coming to a stop two doors down. I was making breakfast in the kitchen that was once hers, standing where my grandmother stood years ago, buttering bread and scrambling eggs. My heart caught when I saw her go by, hands at 10 and two, chin nearly touching the steering wheel. It was summer at 9 am, my kids were still wearing yesterday's popsicles stains but my grandmother was dressed to match her purse that matches her shoes. She woke up knowing just what to do and stepped from the curb towards her best friend's front door with arms already outstretched. My neighbor's Continue Reading

When your bucket is empty

By Jessica

Today I picked up a prescription alone. I sat in the car for four, possibly five, glorious minutes and checked Facebook on my phone while I ate a pack of miniature Cadbury Eggs I didn't have to share. And then my bucket was full. Well it wasn't full but it was full as could be at this point in my week. If you are reading this while carrying an empty bucket don't worry, you can read on. I promise I will not tell you to take time for yourself or spend a weekend away with the girls because I know how isolating those suggestions can feel when they are not an option even on the best of your best days. I was the carrier of a bone-dry bucket for many years. Only in the last year or two Continue Reading

Growing Old Healthy

By Jessica

I was compensated to share my thoughts and feelings about Henry Ford Health System but all thoughts expressed are my own.  My grandmother turned 90 in July. For her 90th birthday present all of the grandkids put together a video of our favorite memories with Grandma. The memories ranged from special trips for ice cream to discovering salad tongs under her pillow that she kept there in case she needed to fend off potential burglars. I shared a moment that stuck with me from my childhood, something that embodied my grandmother to me. When I was nine or ten my grandma came on vacation with us as she often did and she asked if I wanted to join her on her daily walk. Full of nine Continue Reading

101 Reasons to Homeschool

By Jessica

We've already been homeschooling for seven years. How did my kids even get old enough to be in school for that long? We started homeschooling by trying it out for a few months with just McKenna and now here I am schooling three kids at home, hoping they all want to continue for years and years to come. I'm not sure about Parker and McKenna but Sawyer is already asking about "homeschool college" so I think I'll have at least one home with me for the long haul. I truly have enjoyed homeschooling even more than I thought I would so figured I'd see if I could come up with 101 reasons to homeschool... (I should add that some of these reasons were supplied by my children so if something doesn't Continue Reading

On the other side of grief

By Jessica

Nearly every time I take my three youngest out in public a sentimental senior citizen reminds me to enjoy them while they're young or mentions how quickly they will grow up, how precious these days are. Sometimes they offer their advice when the kids are holding hands and happy and no one has fought over anything in 32.5 seconds. But sometimes it's while I'm carrying a kid under my arm with an unexpected side of grief and bags under my eyes. There is a long answer I want to give them but I never offer it. I smile and say "I do" or "I know." But I want to tell them that I really do know, that losing a baby whose life I never dreamed would be so short taught me just how fragile small Continue Reading

Let’s go shopping for books

By Jessica

This post contains affiliate links for deals on books which means if you click on them I get a tiny little kickback from Amazon on your purchase. Thanks so much for supporting my work! I'm always coming across great deals on books. Sometimes I post them on Facebook and then five minutes later see a deal on another book that is on my Goodreads list. Rather than post every deal I find on my Facebook page, which some of you might like but the other half of you would hide me for all eternity over, I decided I'd keep this post updated with the best deals on books I'm either dying to read or have already read and highly recommend. Here's the current list of deals on books I've found. If Continue Reading

When the world did not stop

By Jessica

If you've suffered a life-changing tragedy you have a date, maybe two or three where the world was supposed to stop but it didn't. Where you were looking out your car window or down the 8th floor waiting room hallway and wondering how these people were functioning as if this were any other day. How were they pushing the gas pedal or filing their paperwork or tapping the vending machine without a bucket of tears and an unavoidable urge to curl up somewhere and disappear? Every year when we celebrate Hadley's life on the anniversary of her death I travel through the day pretty sure our family has some kind of advertisement on the outside of our vehicle telling the world we aren't just Continue Reading

The only way through

By Jessica

grief over the years

Years ago when I saw a therapist regularly she often reminded me that I needed to feel my way through all the feelings of losing a child. She said if I pushed away the grief or tried to stifle the urge to cry I would never get through those miserable days of searing pain. They would keep returning-- the intense emotions resurfacing until I buckled to them, acknowledged just how much they sucked, then pulled a pillow over my head or cried a good shower cry. She used to say "the only way out is through" and it became my mantra too. Those first few years after losing Hadley I told myself this often. When I woke up with a physical ache, pressed in the shape of her head against my chest, I Continue Reading

12 Books you should read this year

By Jessica

I use to be pretty good at getting a post out of my favorite books two or three times a year. Now I'm lucky to get a post up about anything two or three times a year. If I'm not writing I'm living right? Or something more along the lines of reading everyone else's books, getting to the end, sighing then telling myself I could never write a novel that good. I've read a ton the last year or so a lot of them were "meh" books. Lately though I've read books that I want to hand out to anyone who talks to me for more than 30 seconds. I sat at my son's basketball game this morning, hoping I was clapping for the right things, while trying to discern whether the woman next to me would appreciate a Continue Reading

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About me

Jessica Watson

I'm Jessica, 40-something mom to five, four in my arms and one in my heart.

On any given day you will find me taxi-ing teenagers, mopping up our latest "art project" and trying to remember when I turned the crock pot on… all the while, looking for the closest Starbucks drive thru.

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autism tab

grief tab

teen parenthood

Favorite Posts

  • A musical life
  • Always be you
  • It's not permanent
  • My One
  • The Stone

@fourplusanangel on Instagram

Is your house getting quiet as your kids get older Is your house getting quiet as your kids get older? Get a teen who rescues animals. Our house guests just keep getting more interesting. 
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#devotedbarn #rescuepig #olivetherescuepig #animalrescue #friendsnotfood #pigsofinstagram #neveradullmoment
Finally don’t have to worry about looking at the Finally don’t have to worry about looking at the right spot in a selfie.
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#skiiing #maskup #puremichigan #getoutside #isuckatselfies #familyskiing #motherhoodunplugged #pineknob #parentingteens
Love the first good snow, and not just because it Love the first good snow, and not just because it seems to insulate the noise level of my boys when we bring them to the barn.
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#horsesofinstagram #willowtreestables #firstsnow #puremichigan #boymom #motherhoodunplugged #barnlife
We decorated really early this year but I’m alre We decorated really early this year but I’m already finding myself disappointed that soon the decorations will come down. I love the softness of a home decorated for the holidays and coffee in front of a tree every morning.

I wish this year could be more “normal” but I’m not mad about the extra time I’ve had with kids who are at an age where they’d be more than happy to leave us for long stretches of time.

I’d love to shrink them into elf costumes and Christmas countdowns and easy surprises.

#parkerpretends #parkerpretendsforchristmas  #costumer #holidays #christmas #parentingteens #motherhoodunplugged #tbt
She would live in a barn. For real. . . . . . #mc She would live in a barn. 
For real.
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#mckennakaren #farmgirl #barnchores #momlife #horsegirl #motherhoodunplugged
We changed up our nails in support of @trevormicha We changed up our nails in support of @trevormichae1 today. 
As a mom I want to thank you Trevor for leading the way for us. We need to see you ahead of us and happy.

Hoping our manicuring sessions last long past when we can head back out into the world post pandemic.

Love my brave boy and am pretty impressed by his polishing skills. One more thing he can do for me when I’m old and even less coordinated than I am now.
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#teamtrevor #genderstereotypes #colorstreet #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodrising
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