Life after loss with autism, preemies and a rainbow baby
I would like to say that losing a child turned me into an indestructible momma who will fear nothing because she’s already been through the worst. But I can’t. Losing my daughter turned me into a feather. What was once a smallish issue with anxiety snowballed into a big lump of fear that I carry […]
The weather is changing and conversations head in that direction as they always do. From porch to sidewalk, neighbors shout about the need for jackets or lack of. Somewhere, in line for coffee, two old friends discuss the 20 degree temperature difference from last week. And I promise, right this moment, a group of parents […]
There is an unexplainable hollowness that comes with losing a child. I’ve heard loss moms explain it as a hole in their heart or an empty feeling. I’ve searched for words to do it justice but haven’t found one yet. You grow a child and birth them and before you see how their hair touches their shoulders […]
I had to dig through boxes in our crawl space to find our gravy dish because this is how I do things. The kids were “helping” me make Thanksgiving dinner, covering the table with all the tacky everything I try to hide behind the dishes that match. As they uncovered penguin salt and pepper shakers […]
She wore the type of smile put on with morning lipstick. Something in a perky shade of red, rubbed off of glossy teeth and reapplied after coffee and lunch. Her questions began and I knew we were headed for trouble because my safely vague answers weren’t enough. If my conversations with strangers had a soundtrack, somewhere during the […]
In the beginning it was the minutes, the hours, the months. I tried to remember every detail, the weight of her in my arms, the almost-blue of her eyes, the shape of her eyelids as they closed. I felt panic rise as the days passed and memories blurred, I couldn’t forget a thing. She was […]
I wish I could say I love holidays as much as I am supposed to. Hanging six stockings instead of seven and filling one less Easter basket is enough to make me want to pull the covers over my head and wake up once the fridge is full of leftovers. But I have a wonderful husband […]
When we found out we were expecting triplets I avoided the horror stories. I clicked away from tales of early labor, grim statistics and the unthinkable… losing a baby. I couldn’t bear to think anything could happen to my unborn children. Truthfully, I wondered how women who suffered the loss of a child continued on. […]
I am often asked for ideas on what to give someone who has experienced pregnancy loss or the loss of an infant or child. Although I wish this question never had to come up I’m so glad there are thoughtful people out there who want to do something to ease the pain of others. I […]
I have a list of categories for my blog, everything I write is divided into a few main subjects. Autism, Motherhood, DIY/Pinterest-y stuff and Grief. Before I publish a post I check a box next to one of the topics, classifying under what category my writing falls. A few years ago, I checked the box next to […]
