Life after loss with autism, preemies and a rainbow baby
The year after Hadley passed away I made three little birthday cakes. Only Parker and McKenna would dig tiny fingers in and blink cake from their lashes but I made three because I had to, I couldn’t imagine not. On the day of their birthday party I got out the tiny cakes, balanced on one […]
There is a butterfly that swirls around our house every day. It circles the garden when we are looking for strawberries and lands on our porch when I’m trying to talk someone out of playing in the mud. It’s the same butterfly every time because it is. I know it is. Sawyer has bent to […]
In first grade we put on a dance show to Lionel Richie for our moms. The record player skipped as we danced around my childhood living room and our moms clapped at the finale. She missed Girl Scout meetings often and had silky hair that I loved and her eyes were a little bit dark. […]
This week it will be six years since I started my blog. What started as a way to document my triplet pregnancy turned into a lifeline of healing for me and has opened more doors and brought in more friendships than I could have ever imagined. When I look back at all I have written […]
Mark and I escaped on a rare date night over the weekend and shopped with no timeline. We wandered through aisles looking for a few missing pieces for the kids’ rooms and I was caught off guard by how much we don’t need any more. I tried to cure my longing for all things small […]
There is something about the autism community that is so strongly intertwined you can almost feel it. Whether we know each other or not, we are drawn to each other’s stories. We pass knowing glances in the supermarket and offer letters of support and outrage when our children are wronged. And we send virtual hugs […]
When Hadley passed away, another grieving mom suggested I get a piece of jewelry to hold a bit of her ashes. I sat at the funeral home, looking through catalogs of jewelry I never knew existed for such a purpose, and settled on a teardrop-shaped necklace. I wore Hadley’s necklace every day for years, feeling […]
Cheeks red and aching from laughter, we headed to the car. I could feel little fingers wiggling through the mittens that met my hands and tried to slow their excitement as it seemed we were moving up and down instead of forwards. After as many snow-tubing runs as we could manage, we were still giggling […]
Last night I watched my first five minutes of American Idol since Season One. Despite my love of reality television I’ve never been attached to the show and the only thing I’m really sure of is that Kelly Clarkston won once. Right? Anyway, I put the remote down because the boy about to audition, Kayden […]
I never liked playing jump rope when I was in school. Jumping rope on my own, counting jumps next to a friend, singing songs I can still recite, that was all fine. I just didn’t like jumping with a group. At recess the line would form and we would wait our turn to jump in […]
