Life after loss with autism, preemies and a rainbow baby
Today I picked up a prescription alone. I sat in the car for four, possibly five, glorious minutes and checked Facebook on my phone while I ate a pack of miniature Cadbury Eggs I didn’t have to share. And then my bucket was full. Well it wasn’t full but it was full as could be at this point […]
With my youngest now seven, I can open the door to our car and my kids all just get in and when I cook dinner there’s a decent chance I’ll get to eat it while it’s hot. My kids are all aging out of the neediest* part of their childhood and as much as I worried about […]
Sawyer is our wiggliest sleeper. Family dinner conversations often turn into debates over what he’s doing in his sleep. Votes vary but we’re pretty sure he dreams of marathon running, sheet origami, soccer drills or tae kwon do. His sleep habits are in direct disagreement with his need for someone close all. the. time. Born the youngest of […]
I took the kids to see “Alice Through the Looking Glass.” Parker had been counting down the days until its release. Unbeknownst to me, he had also been debating on what costume to wear to the movie theater since seeing the trailer. He came downstairs ready for the show wearing an orange wig and the […]
A funny thing happens when I get ready to meet a new group of moms. I psyche myself out by assuming no one will “get” me. It’s rare to find a mom with exactly the same circumstances as you right? Like maybe we should all wear shirts with a summary of our situation. “Loss mom, […]
When my preemies were in the NICU there were days we could barely touch them. Their daily condition dictated how much holding we could do, how often I could sneak a hand inside their incubators and whether they were up for a sponge bath or an increase in tube feedings. Parker was my tiniest, yet healthiest. […]
You know that phrase about not seeing the forest for the trees? I’m not sure I see the forest or the trees. I’ll be walking along, with kids because when am I not with kids, and saying “Do you have your shoes? Is your shirt on backwards? Did I leave my keys in the car?” and […]
You were born and I was a mother. I didn’t fully understand that I had been a mom since the moment I saw two pink lines, that I was being handed 6 pounds 14 ounces of the most fierce kind of love. I didn’t know breathing you in would soften the blow of 2 am feedings and […]
Most mornings Parker wakes up at the sound of my laptop opening. He flops into the living room bleary eyed and I close my laptop before it gets a chance to buzz alive. I tug him close as he changes the channel from Good Morning America to the one full of superhero names I can’t remember. After he […]
Sawyer has this sing-song-y way he says “love you” that is so sweet I can hear it in my mind as I type. He strings out the “you” at the end while he looks at you like you are the greatest being on his planet. Sometimes he says it over and over before bed because he’s so […]
