Four Plus an Angel by Jessica Watson
Life after loss with autism, preemies and a rainbow baby
The year after my daughter passed away I never left the house. I took care of my three living children without complaint. I denied the need for a break or a babysitter or earplugs and I told myself I was enjoying every single second because these little people could be taken from me without a […]
We drove to the airport Sunday as my dad flew home from Florida. McKenna stared out the window as we arrived, “there’s no snow! It’s spring!” She followed with ramblings of our afternoon plans, the park with Daddy and a bike ride and then a picnic in the backyard. Somewhere lost in five year-old translation […]
I started long after I knew better, past the age when my decisions could be chalked up to that invincible feeling that fades away as we get older. Already a mother I should have been setting a good example and following the very rules I was setting for my own child. I was embarrassed by […]
I am often told I have my hands full. Persuading two five-year olds to hold hands, balancing a toddler on my hip and nodding to a teenager talking my ear off as I weave through Target can bring out these sort of comments I guess. But they bother me. Maybe because I am already a […]
She ran past, princess dress flying, to announce that “this is going to be the best tomorrow ever.” I exhaled breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. My faith in Tomorrow has been shattered, the pieces left for me to place back together, but my daughter’s is holding strong. Tomorrow is as certain for […]
McKenna has reached full-on American Girl obsession. She went from having no interest in them to wanting all of the American Girl® dolls and all of their accessories. She just needs parents with a much larger bank account to make her dreams come true. Her first major request was the McKenna doll because how could I […]
I never talk about this. I let people wonder. I let them look at me and look at her, then look again when she calls me “Mom.” I have heard it all. Are you the mother? You must be sisters. And my favorite? You don’t look old enough to be her mother. I should be […]
New yarn sits splayed across my lap. Endless rows cover my expanding belly. I hope to recall the stitches from memory. Mindlessly I weave under and over, tiny kicks rumble my work. Undoing my mistakes, I am surprised how much I have forgotten, how much I remember. Stuck at a corner again, I am relieved […]
When I was 18 I was already a mom. I remember talking with friends about my plans for the future. I would never wear mom-sweats (the yoga pant of today). Make up would be a must before I left the house. My pedicured foot would never touch the gas pedal of a minivan, only an […]
I was complaining about the dishes. The sink is always full, the dishwasher never empty and those sippy cups? What a pain they are to dismantle. Tumbling cups and plastic bowls, they take up at least one shelf of every load. Her face flashed a look of recognition as she remembered these days well. Trying to […]
