Life after loss with autism, preemies and a rainbow baby
I am often asked for ideas on what to give someone who has experienced pregnancy loss or the loss of an infant or child. Although I wish this question never had to come up I’m so glad there are thoughtful people out there who want to do something to ease the pain of others. I […]
We held a lantern release Sunday, the evening before Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. I had visions of the evening, of resting my head on my husband’s shoulder and crying as we watched our lantern float to the sky, finishing our week of birthdays and anniversaries with one last send off to our baby […]
I have never shied away from discussing diagnoses here. Autism, mitochondrial disorders, I have talked about the medical path of my children and my emotions that followed but I have never really shared much about me. I’ve never given my anxiety or my grief or my hiding behind words a name. Maybe because there isn’t […]
Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. At 7pm I will light a candle for all of the babies gone too soon, for mothers with empty arms, for birthdays without rustling paper, and holidays without hopeful eyes. I will wish for less tears, less heartache and a world where only clouds dance in […]
The nurses would always stop and ask if I wanted the volume turned off. My answer, the same every time. Laying in my hospital bed, I was lulled to sleep each night by the sound of three beating hearts. Despite the constant scares of impending delivery, their rhythms gave me hope. They were very much […]
There is one moment from the Walk that I have to share because I can’t stop thinking about it. We went home with our two, one pink and one blue, and another little girl got her pink balloon after all.
My feet pound the path. I weave my latest in a long line of must-have baby-mobiles through the curved trail, rows of pine bend at the waist, bidding us past. My husband, he strides. Love and purpose in every step. He stops again, a shoelace undone or a coveted sticker has floated off. The dutiful […]
May 1st is Mother’s Day for those of us who have had to say goodbye to our children too soon. If you know someone who has experience a miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal or infant loss or the loss of a child. Let them know you are thinking of them today. There are many woman out there […]
Easter ruffles scrunch beneath her car seat straps. As I click her last buckle the silver tear drop at my neck dangles near pink painted fingers. -What is this for Mommy? -This is for Hadley honey, to remember her by. -You’re wearing it to Nana’s house, Mommy? For Easter? -Yep, I’m wearing it for Easter. […]
I begin to tuck them in. Lift covers up to the first little chin, shift hair, the color of my own, off his sweet forehead, and kiss pink cheeks. I lean over his sister, the final goodnight of our bedtime routine, and they are already climbing out. Tell us “The Baby Story” Mommy. My heart […]
