Life after loss with autism, preemies and a rainbow baby
A few years ago I blogged about one the first heart-wrenching conversation I had with my children after they asked a question about their sister. I received a nasty comment from a reader telling me that if I had not been “selfish” and told them about their sister I would not have to talk to them […]
Mommy what is that time on the clock when you can wish for things? Do you mean 11:11, Honey? Do you sometimes wish for Hadley to be not in the clouds? Yes Baby I do, all the time. Today I will do my concert-show after dinner. I can’t wait to see it. And Daddy and […]
The year after Hadley passed away I made three little birthday cakes. Only Parker and McKenna would dig tiny fingers in and blink cake from their lashes but I made three because I had to, I couldn’t imagine not. On the day of their birthday party I got out the tiny cakes, balanced on one […]
-Mommy do you like rainbows because they remind you of Hadley? -Yes honey, I do. -Because when it rains on us she fills up her hands with colors and throws them all the way down? -You know what? I think that is exactly what she does. -Me too, Mommy.
I am in the place of counting out the years, the months the days and swallowing guilt. Remembering a time I lived and breathed those days, months, hours. I would never have needed to count. We have lived so much longer without her than with, yet her short days have shaped my every. single. one. I […]
She interrupted my bedtime tale to ask if we could call her. I wish we could call her sweetie, I whispered, my voice holding quiet, strong. These conversations becoming as much a part of our day as haphazard art projects and tumbling forts. But we can call her Mommy because it’s nighttime. We can find […]
